Parenting

What To Say To Your Bullied Child

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We hear too often now stories of children who have been bullied in school. For some of us, we have had to deal with the heartbreaking reality that our child has been bullied. Whether it be physical or verbal, it is never easy mending the heart of a hurt child. Of course, there are steps we take to try to ensure that these occurrences do not happen again; we talk to teachers, the principal, and sometimes even the parents. Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

As parents we try our best to protect our children and set them up to be able to handle any type of situation properly. I have always been an advocate for teaching a child to stand up and defend themselves; even more now with bullying becoming a larger issue in our schools and society. I do not condone violence, but I encourage everyone I discuss this issue with to teach their child how to properly protect themselves and, heaven forbid it is needed, but fight back. It is something we have taught our children since they were young- boxing. However, sometimes this isn’t enough.

My Story

I can personally recall a time in which my daughter was bullied. She was attacked and punched in the face by a boy 2 years older and much larger than she was (mind you this boy lived right across the street and would come over to play when ever we rented a jumper). Unfortunately, I learned that the incident occurred off campus while she was walking home with a friend (who was also punched in the face). Neither the school nor the bully’s parents were willing to acknowledge the incident; or my daughter’s swollen face. I remember my daughter saying “Mommy, why would he do this to me? I couldn’t fight back because he’s bigger.”

Recently

I was talking to a friend and discovered that within the first week of school her first-grade daughter was being verbally bullied. She had already had issues in class to which the teacher intervened, but now this same boy was bullying her at lunch. The things this boy was saying were rude and demoralizing! My friend’s daughter was so hurt and ashamed that she didn’t reach out to a teacher. When I spoke with my friend that day she expressed to me how hurt her daughter was about the words said to her.

Hearing about this immediately brought me back to that dreadful moment my daughter went through and how I had to find the right words to console her and try to provide some reasoning as to why someone, a child & peer, could be so mean and hurtful.

What To Say To Your Bullied Child

Sometimes, children are not taught why it is important to be nice to others. They are not taught manners. Some children even have parents who are rude to them and so all they learn is how to be rude and not kind.

There are plenty of other kids who would be nice and love to have you for a friend. It is unfortunate that this child has chosen not to be kind, but there is a whole school full of other children just waiting to meet someone new. Do not let the bad attitude of one child stop you from making friends.

Sticks & stones….sticks and stones. I understand that your feelings are hurt, but remember that they are just words. They cause no physical harm. *check the child in a silly manner for harm* Are you broken, bleeding, or dying? *tickles* I think you will be just fine. Throughout your whole life you will encounter people who are rude and say very unfavorable things. It is very important that you learn not to let the words of someone hurt you so much that it changes your beauty and your kind heart. They are words… they cannot hurt you more than you let them.

Pray… to God to give you the strength to get through your hurting heart. For him to be with the child who is cruel, so that he may find the way to treat others as kind as you do. Pray to God at every moment when you feel sad or alone or hurt, because Jehovah will be with you where ever you go.

Remember…

We may not be able to stop bullying, we may not be able to protect our children to the extent we wish.

But if we teach our children to be confident & strong willed human beings who can withstand the cruel world, there is no doubt that they will grow to be successful and kind people.

 

 

15 thoughts on “What To Say To Your Bullied Child

  1. My little one hasn’t started school yet and it is so hard knowing that so much is out of my hands once she does! Open communication and validating any and all feelings they have about it is so important.

    1. It is so very sad. Unfortunately issues at school are escalating and the problems are kids are exposed to are growing.

  2. Such a difficult, but important topic. What makes me mad is that the schools don’t want to address individual cases. Their standard answer is “we have an anti-bullying program”.

    1. Merry, bullying is something we all worry about, especially now days. I am sure your children will have a wonderful experience in Kinder. God Bless.

  3. This is so hard as a parent. I am so sorry for you daughter. Love the way you handled it though.
    This post couldn’t have come at a more perfect time too. My daughter just came to me last night crying because of something a boy said to her and it hurt her feelings. We talked and I told her what he said were lies. Asked her what God calls her and that what God says we are is the truth. We then prayed. But it’s been pulling at my heart all night and into this morning.
    Thank you for sharing this!

    1. Sarah, I am so terribly sorry that your daughter is experiencing this. As parents, I know that all we want to do is protect our children. So when something like this happens, it is absolutely heart breaking. Do we completely intervene? Do we let them handle it? What do WE do? Open communication is so important, especially in our cruel world. I am sure, despite the heartbreak, your daughter will grow to be strong and kind with your guidance. My heart and prayers go out to you and your little one!

    1. I am sure many of us parents do. It is always something I think about, “will my children be kind and caring”. I am sure you will raise your children to be beautiful human beings.

    1. Lola, I pray that you and your children do not. The world is tough but I am sure you, as I, raise your children to be tougher.

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