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Self Care with Ménesa
Ménesa is a mom of three, and blogger at Clever Glamour Momma Ménesa started blogging because she wanted to help moms have style, fashion & beauty confidence.
Follow along on her style, fashion & beauty adventures. Enjoy the ride!
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How To Prioritize Self Care Even If You’re A Busy Mom
I’m really looking forward to my birthday this year. It’s right around the corner and I can hardly wait to treat myself and have some ME time. I wasn’t always able to spend ME time doing exactly what I wanted to do. The mom guilt would drive me crazy!
Not so long ago, I struggled to convince myself that I deserved a treat. I believed that spending time doing what I wanted to do was the definition of being selfish. After all, there were kids, hubby, a home and a million other things to take care of. Giving myself some self-care was a luxury I couldn’t afford and would repeatedly reject. The mom guilt alone would be too unbearable for me to enjoy a treat, a trip, or a trinket that would be just for me.
Does this sound familiar to you? How many times have you rejected self-care?
As a busy mom, it’s almost impossible to enjoy self-care. Sometimes enjoying a moment of peace and quiet to yourself seems less likely than you winning the lottery 5 times in a row. Yet, if you want to effectively take care of others, then taking care of yourself is necessary. To use an airplane analogy, it’s vital that you put your oxygen mask on first so that you can better help others put theirs on. If you can’t breathe, how can you help others? Like I said, taking care of yourself first is essential for you to be able to take effectively take care of others.
What is self-care?
Self-care is doing something deliberately to take care of our physical, emotional & mental health. It is the sole purpose of serving us & no one else.
When you don’t spend any time filling your own tanks, it’s very difficult to fill everybody else’s. Answer these questions honestly…
“When I don’t make time for me & my needs, what does it cost me?”
“Is not having a self-care regime making me tired, miserable, angry, overwhelmed?”
“How is this affecting those around me?
If you’re very honest with yourself, you’ll realize that a lack of self-care may be costing you your health and happiness. Constantly being tired, or stressed out means that you won’t be able to fully appreciate your loved ones, or live in the moment and enjoy magical memories. To fully live in the moment and enjoy your loved ones, you need to take a break and be pampered. You’re worth it! If you don’t think it, you won’t do it.
Related Post: 6 Spectacular Steps To Self-Care For Stressed Out Moms
Thoughts Preventing Self Care
When it comes to caring for yourself, moms are often their own worst critic. Do any of the following thoughts sound familiar?
- I have to put my kids/business first.”
This is a negative thought that you should avoid. Remember the airline analogy? Ask yourself, “Who’s going to put the oxygen mask on my kids/business if I’m unconscious or dead because I didn’t put my mask on first?”
- “I don’t deserve self-care.”
This is a thought a lot of us moms are plagued with. It implies that self-care is something that we have to earn. Self-care is not something that has to be earned. It’s just something that we need. In other words, you don’t have to check off X amount of things on your to-do list to deserve self-care as a reward or a treat.
- “Self-care is selfish.”
By definition, selfish means: “Devoting by too much care, time & attention on/to the self.” Whenever you feel like you’re being selfish, ask yourself, “How many moms do I know who spend too much time on themselves?” I’m sure you’ll realize that moms spend most of their time caring for others, not themselves. So, how could that be selfish?
- “Self-care costs too much money.”
You don’t have to spend £200 on a spa day (although, that would be lovely). There are lots of self-care products, activities, and events that cost nothing more than time. Be creative and even just a bit crazy when you consider new and interesting ways to take care of you. Or feel free to remind yourself of your old, familiar favorites. This could be, a bit of exercise, some meditation, cooking, shopping, writing, learning something new, a walk in nature, reading, mastering a skill, a spa day? Do whatever rejuvenates, excites or energizes you.
Scheduling time to care for yourself increases the chances of it getting done and you benefiting from it more.
It’s important to be intentional about your self-care. So you should be mentally prepared to focus on you when you decide to indulge in some ME time. Your positive attitude and energy are extremely effective to enable you to get more from your self-care time. When you’re ready to take some time for you, remind yourself that, “The next few hours are entirely about me.”
I know that as a busy mom, finding tons of time for self-care may be virtually impossible. When you’re really busy and can’t find time for full-blown self-care, try a dose of “mini self-care”. This is when you steal away little bits of time for yourself. For example, watching your favorite TV show/movie alone, having a quick workout, indulging in a sweet treat. It’s just you doing something by yourself. However, it’s very important to still try to find some full-blown self-care time very specific to your needs.
Take time for you! Remember that serving your family, your friends, your business, your clients, etc. isn’t taking time for you. Self-care is about doing something just for you today. Do not delay!
When you feel guilty about indulging in some ME time, remember the following:
- What price are you paying for not taking care of yourself? Is it affordable for you, your family and your friends?
- If you feel that you’ve lost the ability to care for yourself after you became a mom, then take some time and re-learn how to do things just for you.
- Take baby steps to care for yourself and get back into it gradually. Make these steps so easy, it would be silly not to do them.
- Ask yourself, “What’s the one action I can take today that eventually becomes part of my self-care routine?” Then do it!
- “There’s not enough time. I’m not deserving, it’s not important, I’m too busy etc.” Banish these negative thoughts NOW! Think positive thoughts. If you want it bad enough, you’ll make time to get it done.
It’s imperative that after we become moms we reteach ourselves to care for ourselves. One way is to have a great self-care routine. To get you started, download my FREE 6 Spectacular Self-Care Strategies. Get simple strategies to boost your confidence & relieve your stress in only 6 days. In less than a week, you can be more confident, stress-free & happy, without the mom guilt.
What self-care habits do you have, or need to start working on today?
Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.